How’s it going this week? I think I’m doing okay, you know, given the current global situation and stuff. When I left the ship in April, the only thing I could focus on was making it home without being infected and what I would do for two weeks isolated in my room. Four months later, three extensions of no sail orders, tons of Zooms and re-opening phases - I’m still home. Like my cast, other DCL crew and almost all performing artists around the world, we are constantly trying to find a silver lining and pass the time. If you’re like me, the best thing I did for myself was rest and recovery. I focused on projects that I’ve let fall by the wayside, one being this blog on this new website format and obtaining my personal training certificate. I’ve now started a sports nutrition course and an acting course this past week. WFH, aka The New Hustle.
I thought I had it all figured out at the start of this year. Finish my current contract strong, buy and move into an apartment in Toronto by October and keep the momentum going. Train, audition, book. Work, eat, sleep. What a turn of events it has been - seriously y’all, I’m writing this from my bedroom that I didn’t plan on coming back to unless I was packing everything up to haul across Canada. I have done a handful of online ballet classes, I’ve taken a class in person that was basically half anxiety, half adrenaline. Dance and me needed this break; for the first time the hustle actually stopped. Spending the first three months of this year dancing and singing only to have it be put on hold made me a bit resentful of the position I was first put in. It was well into May that I realized I hadn’t focused on dance, I was barely singing and I was letting days pass. How did I turn this feeling around? Stories for a different day. Let’s just say, I have great people in my corner. It was time for me to get my shit together.
“I really hustled in a variety of different mediums to figure out what I wanted to do with my life” / Dan Levy
I found myself coming to the conclusion of what’s-the-point so often and quickly that I allowed myself to just coast. This is when reassessment and reevaluation began. I started going through my values again, reconfiguring my goals to fit an ever changing lifestyle and taking care of my body in different ways because of this pandemic (easier said than done be patient with yourself!) I am lucky to be able to study personal training as well as nutrition, explore more acting during this time and even sprinkle a few minutes a day on Duolingo to learn French. I’m still figuring it out, I’m still learning, unlearning, I’m still a couch potato and a fitness lover. But at the root of it all was the question I ask myself almost everyday - Am I being honest with myself? Sometimes the answer is long, some days it’s answered by actions, I challenge you to spend some time with yourself and this question. Check in physically, mentally and emotionally - give these feelings a name and make a plan to move through them. By listening to what you truly need each day, it’s easier to understand the frustrating downward spirals. Find the capability in each day that pushes the new hustle.
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Just this past week, for the first time in forever (had to!), I started wanting to dance again like sweaty studio days, back to back classes type of wanting. I started singing more just for the fun of it. It took awhile to get here and a big talk with myself. Just because I haven’t danced that much during this break doesn’t mean I still don’t love it. I feel guilty not singing more, but some days vocalizing for five minutes is all I feel like doing. Running has been an escape but my body can say no and I’m sidelined for a bit. Each day is different, with daily covid updates, news from around the world and personal tasks that pile up; it can be a lot. Some days it’s all productive, other days it’s binge watching and naps. And that’s all okay, it’s all part of the hustle but when you feel that push again - open that laptop, pick up that pen, step outside and do the damn thing.
Before I sign off I wanted to share two posts that got me thinking deeply about the the industry I’ve worked, trained and hustled to be in. To me, they’re parallels of what the shutdown has caused people to feel. I’m not only going to be a personal trainer now, just like I’m not only a performer - I’m also really good at reviewing wines, choreographing and napping anywhere.
Being a performer is mentally, physically and emotionally draining. It is effing hard. And I wouldn’t change that. The quote earlier from Dan Levy is a reminder that we are all individually capable of doing much more than we think we can. I’ve auditioned, worked side jobs, failed repeatedly, succeeded, all to figure out what I want to do. And what I want to do is more than just performing but also key elements that go into it. Settle into your new hustle - study a topic you’re curious about, learn a language, try something new, watch shows you usually wouldn’t, go for a bike ride, stay in bed until the afternoon. Whatever it is, you got this.
